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ginger bread man

Life as a house

Easter weekend came and went. I spend a night in the Hammer, went to Hess Villiage (for those of you who know, yes, I'm a bit old for that place but it was good, for those who don't, it's a little neighbourhood of bars - like the French Quarter in New Orleans with less beads and more fighting) and then did the dinner with family.

Aside from some highly annoying moments, it was good. I overdosed on ham.
Yay me.

Right now, the old homestead is undergoing some renovations... namely to the
bathroom and the attic.

The attic was always a sensitive issue for me. I wanted it to be a room
forever. I wanted my own room and never really got it.

So on Sunday night, I went to the attic. They fixed the insulation, put up
drywall, painted the walls, put in lighting fixtures and put up a futon. I
went up there, and sat on the futon. It was kind of emotional. The sad
reality was that my father had to pass away for this to get done. Then I
replayed all the renovations that the house went through and the bullshit
that came with it.

My dad being an electrician for a career made good money when he was working
52 weeks a year.

The problem is, I don't know if he ever worked 2 years consecutively ever.

So any chance to get ahead was undone by the economy, or a general
unwillingness to travel to far flung places for work. He had already put in
his time for that, and I agree with him.

Because we couldn't get ahead, one expense or another would come up - new
car, university, new van, laid off for a year and a half.

By no means do I, or could I ever, blame my family for the choices they made
because they were all the correct choices, long and short term. I sat on
that futon and realized that I had a very comfortable life growing up and
though I never took it for granted, but realized how much difficulty was
experienced as I was growing up.

We are all shaped by the experiences of growth, the environment raised.

So I guess what I'm saying, if by me having my own room would have had a
negative affect on my childhood, my character, my personality in any way...
I'm glad I never had that room.

But I'm glad I could sit in it now if I wanted to.

It also looked much bigger with walls up. Would've made a kick-ass room...